All Hearts are dead except those with knowledge... All those with knowledge are asleep except those who perform good actions... All those who perform good actions are deceived except those with sincerity... And all those with sincerity are in a constant state of anxiety... [Imam Shafi'i]

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Jhogra

Boka shuni na shuni na kintu jokhon shuni shara duniyar shamne shunte hoy. OMG! Ki je rag lagtese. Ectually lachilo kintu now i've calmed down alhamdulillah. U c what happened 2day is... actually its my fault... ajke shokale ammu told me that chola ar dal pani diye bhijiye rakhte because we are having guests 4 iftar. So thats what I did. Niche giye shundor kore chola ar dal pani diye bhijiye rakhlam. Kintu, jei ammu niche gelo (a long time later, 2 hours before Iftar) the house filled with obscene language and swear words directed at me! U c, what I did was chola ar dal take ekta bati-te mishiye bhijiyechi. But as u might have guessed I should have done it separately. Ujbok, ahammok, k****r bacha, h***m**d*, .... and many more bangla gali galaj shunte holo. But alhamdulillah 1 thing I am good at it chup kore boka shuna. I can get yelled at for a whole day non-stop and i can be as silent as though I dont even exist.

So there I was, lokkhi meye hoye chup kore boka shunchilam. Then to my surprize, Ms. Doe and her sis came 2 my house 2 give me a visit (as it was my b-day yesterday). They brought all sorts of yummy foods (which we all enjoyed very much @ iftar 2nite - masha Allah her mum and her are both GREAT cooks ;). Kintu oi shomoi amar boka shunar peak hour chilo. Actually peak hour just pass korechilo but things were still heated. So u can imagine, guest er shamne amake emon bokata dilo. Ami ar ki korbo, lojjai mukhta lukiye rakhte holo. I'm really sorry Ms. Doe about what u had 2 c. Only if u stayed longer I could have explained all this 2 u. Anyways, this went on for an entire 2 hours! And I was quiet the whole time alhamdulillah. Not a word came out of my mouth except responses to questions. And maybe some tears that came out of my eyes. But I was glad because I didnt cry much! This is a HUGE accomplishment 4 me alhamdulillah, masha Allah, yay!

I've realised that I dont get yelled at by parents a lot but when i do I have a big audience. Once in front of Upoma and Ema I got yelled at big time for wanting to drive to Minto (even tho I have my license). Another time I got yelled at in front of over 15 girls at a sleepover (even tho it was over the telephone it was really embarassing). I even had big serious debates with abbu in front of other uncles at dawats! See, this stuff is like once in a blue moon 4 us but people must thing we are the most jhograte family alive! lol, oh yeah, i remember once in NZ at this cultural function, i was 8 yrs old and me sis was 4. We got into such a HUGE fight, all the performances had 2 b stopped (i think) and aunties and uncles had to come and stop us (i remember that my parents were SOOOOOOOO embarassed)!

I just pray that Allah amake maaf kore dei for being such a bad daughter. Abbu ammuke ami ragateo pari, lol. Coz everytime i was yelled at it was my fault (as far as i remember). Now i just need 2 be patient and continue with my anger management and improve on it as much as i can insha Allah ;)

15 Comments:

Blogger flynn.t said...

At least you've managed your anger so far... in your position, I would have yelled back, then taken a loooong walk outside... anywhere.

Reminds me of the (countless) times I've botched up one of me Mum's MAJOR kitchen "projects"... once, I put the rice in the rice cooker, and completely forgot to turn it on, so when the guests came over an hour later, there was NO cooked rice, but one VERY aggro Mum & one BIIIG bunch of hungry B-Deshis... I can relate to your getting into trouble... I've done this HEAPS of times! Don't worry, it's all in the name of "learning" *ahem*.

9:09 pm

 
Blogger HijabiPrincess said...

hahahhaa. i can totally relate to ur situation ishi... lets see what i have done so far:
1. we have two different kind of rice, one for deshi style chocchori and shutki my parents love so much and another is the usual bashmoti we have everyday. it was the time when i didnt know much about cooking, i was told to cook rice (when the guests were here) and i cooked the chocchori rice one... o my god, wasnt i yelled at!
2. burned an oven full of chicken... ahem, that happened few hours before guests came, so i got all the time of the world to be yelled at...
3. one fine morning, ma was cooking for an odd 60 ppl of homebush and she tells me to put salt in her precious curry... me poured down a great deal of sugar.. u can imagine the rest. he he.
4. just the other day, ma thought she would do some charity to this aunty with 5 kids and told her to stay for iftar... she said she has a lot of cooking to do, ma forced her to bring all the cooking to our house, leave them to ma and go to sleep. ma told me to fry the fish and guess what.. i ruined them! they were broken and floating all over the pan! wasnt ma angrrryyyy!!!!! it was prestige issue *ahem*.

ah the stories go on and on! in these cases i try acting intelligent and keep silent... sadia, ma is under a lot of pressure and u just made everything harder for her... you deserve it... other times i fire back... hahahhaa. but really, i shouldn't. coz i know ma only yells when she is going through far more mental pressure than i am aware of. sometimes when i step aside and take a look at the work load on her head i get amazed. mashallah she is coping with so much and yeah, we have too high expectations from her... if we get yelled at once or twice, even for hours, its okay. she has the right to do so. :-)
i have to admit i don't remember that once. i remember the last time ever my mother deary hit me. you guyz have to admit she does a lot of works at the same time subhanallah... a super woman i call her... anyway, that day she was stressed and i was arguing with her on a futile ground, the way she hated it. when it reached the peak, my mother couldnt bear it any more and i got a *thappor*. lolz. i was in class 8. i stood there surprised. my mum was pretty shocked at what she did too. hahaha. but then she went away. i didnt say a word. didnt cry. calmly had breakfast with eveyone else without saying a word. then came to my room, packed my stuff, got all couple of thousands taka i had, wore my hijab and queitly walked off... hahahhaa. i stayed out for quite a few hours... being the emotional one i am and 13, i was having all those great plans of spending the night in Ramna park... hahaha. i kept walking and walking, had some strange encounters. then when my angers sort of died down, i went to a phone shop and rang home. ma picked up the phone...o my god, her voice was deep... it was evident she cried a lot. she was pleading me to go back home. lolz. apparantly baba was out looking for me, his rising pressure at unbearable peak by then. i was listening to my mother and silently crying. bangladeshi ppl all around me were gawking at me, looking for stories. after 5 mins of that natok, i finally put down the phone and got a rickshaw to home. my parents were so relieved to have me back! hahahaha. gosh, it was an experience, an eye opener... no matter how angry the parents act, i guess its only because this is the only "emotional outlet" they get... its kind of comforting to know, we mean so much to them! (might i add, after that incident my parents were confirmed about the extent i can be driven by emotion to and modified themselves around me. loz.) after all these years, i feel a bit disappointed at myself for putting them in that position. :$.

9:38 pm

 
Blogger Chimichanga said...

Happy Brithday to you! cha cha cha
Happy Brithday to you! cha cha cha
Happy Brithday to you! cha cha cha
Happy brithday to you dear IishiI!
Happy Brithday to you! cha cha cha
:D

1:01 am

 
Blogger eccentric_human said...

i already wished that happy bday to u on msn.. so ..
here is happy jhogra day to u..

ooppss.. no offense .. emni dostore ragalam.

me is here to tell u-will b away for all the fun in Eid.. And enjoy Eid like us..
u know wat?we r going to roam around, party with friends, go to village, oneek moja korbo, oneek kichu korbo, onek yummy yummy food khabo, tarpor onek gain korbo, arroo kotto keee..

lolzz. i really enjoyed that - tomake ragate eto moja legechilo ajke.. comment korte bhullam na..

Amar jonno doa koro.. enjoy Eid.. and Eid Mubarak!!!

6:31 am

 
Blogger Em said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:08 am

 
Blogger -iishii- said...

U ro so right em, OMG ratre belai guest jabar pore ammu eshe amake emon joraye dhorlo! Ar chare na. She kept apologizing for yelling at me and she even sed that "tomar frend der shamne i tried 2 control myself kintu parlam na", lol. And we had a big laugh abt my stupidity!

U guys r the best, I dont feel so stupid after all :P. So we all stuff up sometimes, rite? And eishob lesson gula jibona bhula jai na. Emon dhatani pai, tarpore ki keo bhule?

Flynn has blunders in the kitchen! Thats something unheard of! I always thought u were like the superwoman of cooking. Y duz things always stuff up when we have guests, eh?!?!

HP, u have guts girl! Ami jotoi boka shuni i have never ran out of home like that. I've thought abt it but never did it. My lil sis does this kinda stuff an i'm the one who usually calls up crying and telling her 2 come back! Even tho her jhogra wasnt with me 2 start with! lol. Aunty is a superwoman masha Allah. Tomar moto meye niye ki super woman na hoye ar para jai, lol, jokes :P! U c, from that incident u learnt a lot and so did ur parents. So insha Allah it was a learning experience for both parties!

Jazakallah PA, I will reply 2 ur email soon insha Allah. Bear with me for a bit. Eid er age din gula eto besto jai and eid er koyek din poreo eki obostha, esp since daddy dearest will be going 2 BD insha Allah!

EH dosto, amake raganor ar shesh nai, na? lol, i honestly do hope that u have a great time. Remember me when u have fun! And when Ms Doe returns, send some food 4 me, lol, jks!

11:39 am

 
Blogger Chimichanga said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12:18 pm

 
Blogger Chimichanga said...

Salam,
You need NOT reply. As long as you find that of any help, that is more than enough.

12:25 pm

 
Blogger »|n|i|r|a|« said...

chola are dal ekshate michiyesho? Just the thing I wouldn've done though I don't think ammu would've taken it that extreme. She's used to me and my ways...

1:46 pm

 
Blogger Emu said...

sheeesh, i don't think i can ever keep my temper in check at such a time. masha Allah peach, keep it up.

don't think i'd ever mix those two. when i get told to do something in the kitchen, in fear of getting told off, i ask my mum a thousand questions concerning it ... although there isn't really much point to that cos then i get told off for asking too mnay questions...the kitchen isnot really my domain, it's "the boy's".

to HP: U MAD WOMAN!!! WALKING OUT OF THE HOUSE IN DHAKA, OF ALL CITIES!!!

2:17 pm

 
Blogger -iishii- said...

THANK U NIRA APU! Seriously! After that incident yesterday ammu has been asking EVERY SINGLE ONE of my frends she runs into what they would have done. And they said that they wud separate the chola and the dal. OMG! I felt so stoooopid!

PA: Insha Allah I will reply because after reading it i was planning on what 2 rite. So u shud get something frm me soon iA.

2:53 pm

 
Blogger fish out of the water said...

Didn't have time to read all the comments Ishi. Hey, you don't need to apologise for what I have seen. It was no big deal.All mums do the same.
I came home and told ammu abou the chola daal. She wouldn't stop worrying,she even wanted me to take some chola to your house.She admitted she would probably give me jarur baari if I did something like that lol. So, you see, I didn't think of it as very unusual.

Sorry about getting a little emotional(and perhaps I made u feel worse),I just couldn't bear to see you upset. I can't believe I did that :$.

3:57 pm

 
Blogger ashes2ashes said...

Wow, what a day ishii...don't worry all mums get upset once in a while but at the end it all usually works out :)...but I was amazed at your patience, I know I could never have done that and I would probably have mixed the dhal and chola as well!
P.S. Eid Mubarak to you and your family!

7:09 pm

 
Blogger flynn.t said...

Golly- I'm gone all of ONE DAY, and there's no end to the comments.

What's this "superwoman-in-the-kitchen" business?? Wrong person Ishi... see, my theory is that the only reason my cooking (which is restricted to anything but BD-styles, ie-baking) is only ever edible because of all the "boka" I have to listen to from me Mum.

But if there's 2 rooms in the house I ABSOLUTELY detest... they would be the Laundry & the Kitchen... blrgh!!

11:13 pm

 
Blogger -iishii- said...

u no wat? I was telling ammu abt what all of u sed here and she found it all very surprizing that some of u would mix the chola and daal. She thought Ms. Doe and Emu were the only smart ones who wouldnt do it.

And Ms. Doe u didnt get emotional, it was I who got emotional. I started crying remember? U were fine :D

I disagree with ur theory there flynn. At least u can still cook, even if it is with boka. Ami jodi boka shuni tahole i stuff things up even more. I get nervous, lol. At least it works 4 u and thats all the matters. By the way, I hate doing the laundry too!

11:08 am

 

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