All Hearts are dead except those with knowledge... All those with knowledge are asleep except those who perform good actions... All those who perform good actions are deceived except those with sincerity... And all those with sincerity are in a constant state of anxiety... [Imam Shafi'i]

Monday, November 27, 2006



I kind of like it now that no1 reads my blogs, moner shob kotha likhte pari without anyone reading it. Last few days have been terrible. Bekar bole ammu abbu'r kach theke onek kotha shunte hoise. Khub i koshto pawar moto kotha. But alhamdulillah chakri peyechi, at Oporto's at International Airport. ajke prothom din chilo, alhamdulillah was allright. Koyek din dhore i feel like i'm so out of it, like i'm not me, like i'm living such a robotic life. Seriously, usually i get scared, happy, sad, angry, i am the queen of emotions. But i dont feel anything. In situations i know i'm supposed to feel scared, i dont. When i know i am supposed to be happy, i'm not. All i feel is sadness... I'm a freak i know...

I have not been home (during day time) for the last 7 days! I think tomorrow will be the 1st day i'll actually be at home insha Allah. Looking forward to it. I miss bludging, i miss having so much spare time. But i know myself too well to think that i'll be using that time well... I dont think so. Have to tidy the house, arrange for going out on wednesday night to khushbu's, on friday to doe's (who's leaving to london 4ever!!!!!), childrens program on sunday and AM prog as well. With all that i have work this week as well. So once again i shall be robotic me just going with the flow of life. I need a change!


Blogger Chimichanga said...

hey I am reading your blog. I am like that too. I want to have a blog... but with some level of privacy. How u been girl?


4:51 am

Blogger flynn.t said...

I REALLY miss the good ol' days of just bludging.
I know how it feels to be "robotic" (actually... I'm probably like that most of the time).
Pat week has been way more than hectic... I haven't been home for longer than 2/3 consecutive hrs in a day.
I kinda miss cleaning up my room... I'm so pathetic (& my room's seen too many cyclones to survive another week).

Anyway- the best words I have ever heard in my life (from the Plant Beverage Queen): "Cheer up, Charlie!"
I think this applies to you.
PS-I'd say we should get together sometime, but I only have Mondays & Wednesdays off work...

11:23 am

Blogger -iishii- said...

Sabrina apu, i'm ok alhamdulillah, just tired thats all :) Been working 5 days a week now, almost the same hours as a full time employee. Trying to save up for hajj next year insha Allah. Please make dua that i can.

Flynn, yes we should definately meet up insha Allah. I'm free only on weekends, but usually not on sundays since there are various YMSA stuff going on, so im free only on saturdays :D

10:34 pm


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