I'm so freaked!!!!

Salams ppl,

OMG OMG OMG, the scariest thing happened! I went driving/shopping yesterday with jannah apu in the car. And guess what? Parking korte giye ami ar ekta garite lagaye disi! It was so scary! I cudnt stop trembling. It wasnt a super big collision or anything, but amader garite ar onno garita-te mark legeche. So there is evidence of the impact. Some ppl saw what happened. So if they decide je onno garir manushke bole dibo, its ok. They shud. But at that moment i was so ovewhelmed with all sorts of emotions I decided to drive away to another suburb 2 do the shopping. Get away from that whole shopping area. And never come back! lol, i probably will go back but no time soon and hope no1 remembers me. But onek koshto kore abbu ammuke convince korsilam 2 get insurance under my name as well and alhamdulillah after a long wait they did. So it shud all be ok now. But even now i'm so scared! And ashamed that i ran away. Kintu ar ki kortam bolo, i know amar oi garite ekta note ba kichu likhe rakha uchit chilo. But i was just thinking of abbu ammu's reaction. And at that moment that was enuff to scare me so much that i ran away :(

Anyway, just felt like taking some time out of my bz schedule and sharing that with u guys. Now if abbu ammu gets a call 2 say they hafta pay up, thats ok. I dont mind coz they can handle this situation. But i cudnt so i left. Allah help me! I felt like such a coward and still do. What wud u guys do if it was u????

New Beginings...

Assalamualaikum,

Seems like every1 has a post up on this topic. So i wont say much more. But this is what happened for those who r clueless abt it:

Next year will be 1 of tremendous change for all the girls here.

• Ms Doe getting married this year and moving to the UK a year later
• Ash moving out of Sydney to study medicine

So to celebrate all these changes we decided to have a party we would never 4get! Its funny, change hoi na hoi na, kintu jokhon hoi shob ekshathe hoi. I didnt realise what all these changes meant but now after the party i'm @ home just contemplating on what this means. I cant really explain what it means 2 me. But I am starting 2 feel an emptiness inside. I know that as tacky and cliche as it mite sound, i mean it with all my heart. My wellwishes to all those sisters who are going to start a new begining in their life. May Allah make this new life easy for you insha Allah. Ameen.

On the bright side, the party was a big success alhamdulillah. It truly was a party 2 remember. All the girls looked amazing masha Allah. And our Ms Doe really did look like a bride-to-be. And Nira apu began what looked like an intense training sessions on the social ettiquetes of a bengali bou with Ms. Doe, who was increasingly looking embarassed! The games were excellent! The food was superb! Everything was just the way it shud be alhamdulillah! And the best part of all was the company. Honestly, it is hardly ever that we get all the girls 2getha 4 an occassion such as this. So alhamdulillah for this opportunity. Wallahi I love all u guys 4 the sake of Allah :D. For those of u going 2 bd, please be careful, and for all of u, keep me in ur prayers.

Wassalam

Fair and Lovely?

Assalamualaikum all,

Just today I was having a conversation with a friend on this topic. About how much our society is obsessed with fairness and skin colour. I found an article on this which u mite wanna read. It was quite interesting. It's called Indian Women Criticize 'Fair and Lovely' Ideal. I have 2 admit, I do use the cream fair and lovely. Initially it started off with me actually feeling bad because of my colour and soon I was using it on a regular basis. But now I tell people that I use the ayurvedic ones only because they honestly do keep ur skin smooth and pimple free. But I think still bhitore bhitore I do use it for the colour :$ although the other factors mentioned above are a reason too.

It is often a really common situation in BD (well i've witnessed it a lot) that when someon asks another person abt a girl's looks, its either "meyetar gayer rong dudher moto shada" or "khub forsha", even the term "shundor" has the connotation that the girl is fair. But if the girl is shemla often the reply to that question is "meyeta shemla kintu chehara sweet". Thats what i've heard from a LOT of people abt me. It sounds as though being shemla a terrible thing and even tho chehara is ok, the shemla-ness remains a big 'but'.

Islamically, we arent supposed 2 judge people based on their colour. But the stereotypes that r in place now, every1 is doing it. Plus abbu was telling me that in the arab countries the arabs look down upon us curries (i.e. indian, bangladeshi, pakistani, sri lankan.....), perhaps not because of colour but because the majority of curries there are working in low class jobs so many arabs immediately assume any dark person they see as a low class person. Once again, this goes completely against the teachings of the prophet (SAS). So y does ppl do it? Does any1 know the origins of such ideology? It wud be intersting to find out. I always thought it was because we always thought that the bideshi's were 'up there' so we wanned 2 b like them. Is that y? Enlighten us please... any1.....

Congrats ASH!!!

Assalamualaikum every1

I have an announcement to make! Very exciting one indeed. Our dear Ash has made it into Medicine at the Australian National University masha Allah! We always knew u cud do it Ash. Congrats! Our duas are always with u! Well done!

Daddy-dear left!

Assalamualaikum,

Aajke abbur bd jabar flight. Insha Allah he will get there by 2moro shokal our time. Ek maash thaka plan niye jache. Then he will return to sydney on 6th December insha Allah. He wouldnt let us go to the airport and wont let us go 2 pick him up. Since we live right across the station and there i train travel available right to the airport, so he prefers to give us that break even tho we were all willing 2 go with him!

It was so cute! Ammur chokhe pani chole eshechilo! And b4 abbu left he said bye to ammu and held out his hand for a handshake but ammu didnt take his hand. Rather she gave him a HUGE hug! She didnt come to the station with me and abbu. Abbu only wanted me 2 go 2 the station with him so I cud help him with the luggage. But ammu was still across the road and waited there until abbu got on the train and then left for work. But in that time they exchanged waves and smiles from across the street like 10 times! And this is a 60 second journey i'm talking abt, lol.

I remember teasing ammu abbu abt each other so much. Once we changed the banner on abbu's fone to "Shelley amar" and when he found out and changed it, we changed it back to "Ami Shelley'r", lol. Just thos morning I took a foto of ammu and one of abbu with ammus fone andI saved ammu's one as "shundori" and abbu's one as "jaan", lol.

I feel so sorry 4 abbu, he has with him 3 HUGE shopping lists. One 4 me, one 4 me sis and one 4 ammu. Bechara. I told him not 2 do the shopping. Just give the lists to my girl cousins and bhabis and mamis. They'll be better at these things insha Allah. U wanna c my list?

• 6 salwar kameez
• 4 sharees
• 1 long skirt
• Roopchorcha stuff like uptan, fair and lovely, mehendi,......

Me sis has the same list. We had to modify it so many times 2 get it this short. B4 it was like 5 times this size, no joke! I dont care if he duznt get all this. All i ask is him 2 b safe. I've heard some scary stories about people going 2 bd from here. Please make dua 4 him ppls. The he remains safe.

U no the funniest thing, actually a good thing. Abbu started praying from today alhamdulillah and intends to keep it up in BD insha Allah. I was so happy when he told me :D May Allah make him successful in his intentions. Ameen.

Bangali formalities!

Saturday:

At the evening, an aunty calls and asks to speak 2 my parents.

Me: Aunty, ammu abbuto ektu baire giyeche. Ami ki kono message dite pari abbu ammuke?

Aunty: Na ma, eid e to tomra ashla na, ei jonno bhabchilam ajke raat-e tomaderke ashte bolbo.

Me: Aunty, ajke raat-e je amader ekta dawat ache ***** Uncle er bashai.

Aunty: Tai? Acha tahole, tomar ammu abbuke bolo je kalke raat-e jeno amader bashai ashe. Bikale char tai to tomar uncle bashai ashe tai raat-e amra shobai mile khabo. Acha?

Me: Acha aunty, insha Allah ami abbu ammuke ei message ta dibo.

This is what I can remember of the convo (not word for word though). Ta ami ar ki korbo? Abbu ammu bashai ashlo, I gave them the message. And they said, "OK we'll go".

Sunday:

This being the night of the dawat, we went to this aunty's place. We went a bit early because abbu ammu hadnt spoken 2 them in a while so they wanned a jomjomat adda. Plus I told them, if u do early, go b4 maghrib coz i hafta pray there then. And thats what we did. The whole family went, all 5 of us (abbu, ammu, me, sis and fupi). The first time in MONTHS we all went someplace 2getha so it was a real festive feeling. Kintu, oi bashai giye dekhi aunty-der dorja janala shob locked. Ar ki kora, abbu gave a call on the aunty's mobile.

Aunty: Ki bhai, ki khobor? Bhalo achen?

Abbu: Eito achi arki. Tomra kothai?

Aunty: Amra to *****der bashai. Ken bhai? Ashben?

Abbu: Uhhhh (lost for words - long pause), Shelleyr shathe kotha bolo.

Shelley (aka ammu): Eije, ishita naki bolchilo je tumi ajke raate dawat diso.

Aunty: Koi, nato.

Ammu: Tumi naki bolso je ajke raat-e ******** (her hubby) ashar pore amra ekshathe khabo. Ei jonno ashte bolso.

Aunty: Koi, erokom kono kotha to hoini. Kintu, tate ki hoise, apnara half an hour pore ashen. Shomosha ki? Ekshathe khabo amra.

Ammu: Na thak, ishitar to namaj porte hobe, eijonno bashai jai.

Aunty: Na na apa, apnara ashe pashe ghuren, amra adha ghontar modhe ashchi.

Ammu: Na na, tomra berau, amra jai. Onno arek din beraiye jabo. Heh?

After that there was a long convo where the aunty was telling us 2 stay and my parents were saying that we were leaving... Then on the way back home...

Ammu: O ki asholey tomake bolechilo je amaderke raat-e jete?

Me: Ami ja message peyechi, tomake tai bolechi.

Ammu: Bujhechi, o hoito emni beraite jabar kotha boleche ar tumi oitake dawat mone korecho.

Me: Hoito tai. Uni amake bollo je raat-e tomaderke khete jete bolte, eita dawat-er motoi mone holo amar. Man, this bangali formalities! I dont get it! Dawat dile keo bolte parena je dawat dilam! Eto ghuriye pechiye keno bolte hoi!

Fupi: Etao to hote pare je unara tomake msg debar por tomar abbu ammu fone kore confirm koreni. Ei jonno unara bhebeche tomra ashbena.

Ammu: Kintu o je bollo, oishob kotha ishita ke o ekdom bolei nai.

Me: Tomader o dosh ache! Ami bollam je dawat dise, ektu fone kore confirm korba na. Ei jonnoi to unara bhule gese.

Anyways, the moral of that story is:

Keo jodi kokhono amake ba amar family ke dawat deo, clearly bole diyo to je "Eita ekta DAWAT, not just an invite saying come over sometimes". Or better that u leave the msg with abbu ammu or if u leave it with me, who is completely oblivious to bengali formalities, we'll show up when u dont want us there :P

PS. Is it just me or is every1 having trouble accessing PA's blog? When i go there all it shows is a blank page with the blogger toolbar thingo at the top :S

Probashi

Assalamualaikum,

I have been a part of this group called "Probashi" for a while now. What we do is raise funds for acid victims in Bangladesh. I haven't really read up much on acid abuse in BD but I have been doing some reading on it lately. I was not so shocked because i knew the extent of this crime in BD. But even then, everytime I read the info and saw some of the (very graphic) pics I was very hurt, angry, frustrated and touched all at the same time. I'll post up some stuff on that today insha Allah. But I just want to warn u guys from before, some of the fotos are extremely graphic! So if u a squeamish, dont go right to the end.

SOURCE: Acid Survivors Foundation

WHAT IS ACID THROWING ?

Acid throwing is a vicious form of violence against women. Although we know that violence against women is a universal phenomenon, what many of us may not know is the extent and form the violence takes. This differs from one society to another. ACID THROWING is a particularly vicious and damaging form of violence against women in Bangladesh. There are cases of acid throwing in other countries but these are isolated incidents, nowhere near the number of attacks that occur in Bangladesh.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN ACID IS THROWN ON A VICTIM ?
When acid is thrown on a person, the results are horrific. Nitric or Sulphuric Acid has a catastrophic effect on the human flesh. It causes the skin tissue to melt, often exposing the bones below the flesh, sometimes even dissolving the bone. When acid attacks the eyes, it damages these vital organs permanently. Many acid attack survivors have lost the use of one or both eyes. The victim is traumatized physically, psychologically and socially.

An acid attack on your body would dramatically change your life. Most survivors of an acid attack are forced to give up their education, their occupation and other important activities in their lives. This is because recovering from the trauma takes up most of their time and because the disfigurement they have to bear debilitates and handicaps them in every conceivable way.

The scars left by acid are not just skin deep- victims are most often faced with social isolation and ostracisation that further damages their self esteem, self-confidence and seriously undermines their professional and personal future. Women who have survived acid attacks have great difficulty in finding work and if unmarried, as many victims tend to be, they have very little chance of ever getting married, which in a country like Bangladesh is socially isolating.

HOW MANY ACID ATTACKS ARE WE TALKING ABOUT ?
It is difficult to obtain accurate statistics because most people in Bangladesh live in rural communities that are relatively isolated and mechanisms to gather information from these communities is weak. But there is evidence to indicate that there is an alarming increase in the number of reported acid attacks incidents in Bangladesh.

In 1996, there were 47 reported cases of acid violence. In 1997, the number rose to 130. In 1998, there were over 200 reported cases. It is highly likely that the number of actual cases is considerably higher. In 1999 the Acid Survivors Foundation started to collect data and in its first year documented 139 known cases. It is highly likely that the number of actual cases is higher.In 2000, 2001 we documented 226, 343 cases and in 2002 the highest number recorded as 484 which had been lower a little bit in the last year - 2003 - the number was 410 cases.

HOW OLD IS THIS PHENOMENON ?
The first documented case of acid violence was in 1967 when a young girl had acid poured on her by her admirer when his proposal of marriage was refused by her mother. So acid violence is a fairly recent phenomenon in Bangladesh.

WHY DOES IT HAPPEN ?
The victims are attacked for many reasons. In some cases, the attack takes place because a young girl or woman has spurned the sexual advances of a male or has rejected a proposal of marriage. Recently, however, there have been acid attacks on children, older women and sometimes also men. These attacks are often the result of family or land disputes, dowry demands or a desire for revenge.

Reasons for acid attacks during the years, the highest rate of occurrence took place over Land Disputes and Family dispute, the next highest rate of these brutal incidents are due to refusal of relationship/sex throughout the country.

WHO ARE THE VICTIMS?
The major victim of attacked is Women(47%) and Men(26%). Children(27%) could not escape from the attack. Sometimes domestic animals or birds are also victimized.

If any of u Sydney siders would like to join "Probashi" u can let me know. The thing is, a lot of the fundraising is done at mela's and stuff, which I know many of you dont go to or completely disapprove of. What i do is, I help with the preparation of the foods or whatever we r selling at the mela. And usually my parents drag me to the mela so I end up going anyways.

Plus, we sold cadbury chocolates to raise money for the flood victims in BD in 2004. So there are so many ways we do fundraising. So if any1's interested lemme no. I'll let khushbu no (she's the 1 in charge i think).

Wassalam,
-iishii-

My Pigs!

Salams again ppls,

Introducing............................................ (actually most of u no em :P)

My pigs! The 4 most adorable guinea pigs in the UNIVERSE!

Blackie - the mum

Cheeky - the dad

Speedy - the older sis

Blinky - the youngest and fattest sis

I love these things soooo much! Actually I'm a joke 2 some ppl coz i do, lol. Amader bashai all us girls love cheeky. Ammu thinks thats because he's the only guy, lol. Actually, he's the most interactive with any1 so naturally we all ador him the most :P. But the reas of em are cute too, each with their own personality subhanallah! Anyways, feeling like posting up a lot 2day so yeah :D

Eid Mubarak!

Assalamualaikum every1,

I would like 2 wish u all a very festive and blessed eid al fitr. I have just posted up an article on The significance of Eid al-Fitr in Our Microcosm. It was quite an insightful read because I could find many faults in the way I saw Eid celebrated here. I'm sure u all noticed it too. Ramadhan came like this and went like this yet no1 contemplates over it. In Bangla TV we see the news-presenters (the women of course) with orna over their head only in ramadhan and as soo as its eid, not only duz the orna come off but all sorts of hijab-defying and more-over Islam-defying activities take place. Like cinemar gaaner onushthan and a marathon run of eid-er natoks. Well, thats TV, rite? In our everyday life we shud see things 2 be a lot better, tai na? Well, not true.

Many hijabis (I guess u cud say part-time hijabi's, even tho there's no such thing in Islam) took their hijab off. We have become so superficial that we think eid is all about ke ki porlo, ke koto takar jama kinlo, ke ki ranna korlo eid e, ke koto guest pailo, etc... But i just read this in the article: “True rejoicing is not (merely) in wearing new clothes, but in becoming true in one’s devotion to God.” Dont think its a hadith, even if it is, the Sheikh that said it didnt source it. But the message behind it may seem simple but it is SO difficult to implement it into ur lives! Devotion to God... amader devotion to Allah koto? I sometimes think that u no. Esp @ eid prayer, so many people dont turn up, esp women and even if they do, they talk non-stop during the khutbah! All the lessons people learn during Ramadhan often go down the drain during Eid. Here is our devotion to Allah.

People have such a narrow idea of 'fun'. They assume that Islam-e kono 'fun' nei. Thats y 2 have fun in eid, u cant possibly do it thru halal means. Y cant they grasp the islamic meaning of fun. Islam gives us many opportunities for fun and celebrations. Every Friday is like an Eid for us and we should celebrate it like 1. Which other religion, culture or movement in the world provides opportunity for so much fun!

Anyways, it's a festive and blessed day for celebrations. I wont complain any more. I wish u all a blessed eid full of fun (proper Islamic fun) and blessings. May Allah accept all your good deeds not only in Ramadhan but always. U r all in my prayers and please keep me in yours.

Wassalam,

-iishii-

Top 10 Muslim Pick-up Lines

Salams ppls,

I found this posted up on the Islamic Sydney site and found it hillarious! Check it out!


1. Oh my gosh! I just saw part of your hair, now you're obliged to marry me.

2. Our parents engaged us when we were little; they must have forgotten to tell you.

3. I'd like to be more than just your brother in Islam.

4. Will my platinum VISA cover your dowry?

5. Will you help the cause of the Ummah by helping me fulfill my deen? "

6. Wanna pray in jamaat? Shoulder to shoulder, feet to feet?

7. Assalamualaikum, so what time does a hurain like you have to be back in Heaven?

8. Can I have your Wali's phone number?

9. Let's get married so I don't have to lower my gaze every time you walk in the room.

And my personal favourite...

wait for it.....

wait for it.....

10. Is your dad a terrorist, 'cuz you da bomb!

There were a few more but i dont no i found a few of em quite inappropriate so these are the ok ones according 2 me.

Jhogra

Boka shuni na shuni na kintu jokhon shuni shara duniyar shamne shunte hoy. OMG! Ki je rag lagtese. Ectually lachilo kintu now i've calmed down alhamdulillah. U c what happened 2day is... actually its my fault... ajke shokale ammu told me that chola ar dal pani diye bhijiye rakhte because we are having guests 4 iftar. So thats what I did. Niche giye shundor kore chola ar dal pani diye bhijiye rakhlam. Kintu, jei ammu niche gelo (a long time later, 2 hours before Iftar) the house filled with obscene language and swear words directed at me! U c, what I did was chola ar dal take ekta bati-te mishiye bhijiyechi. But as u might have guessed I should have done it separately. Ujbok, ahammok, k****r bacha, h***m**d*, .... and many more bangla gali galaj shunte holo. But alhamdulillah 1 thing I am good at it chup kore boka shuna. I can get yelled at for a whole day non-stop and i can be as silent as though I dont even exist.

So there I was, lokkhi meye hoye chup kore boka shunchilam. Then to my surprize, Ms. Doe and her sis came 2 my house 2 give me a visit (as it was my b-day yesterday). They brought all sorts of yummy foods (which we all enjoyed very much @ iftar 2nite - masha Allah her mum and her are both GREAT cooks ;). Kintu oi shomoi amar boka shunar peak hour chilo. Actually peak hour just pass korechilo but things were still heated. So u can imagine, guest er shamne amake emon bokata dilo. Ami ar ki korbo, lojjai mukhta lukiye rakhte holo. I'm really sorry Ms. Doe about what u had 2 c. Only if u stayed longer I could have explained all this 2 u. Anyways, this went on for an entire 2 hours! And I was quiet the whole time alhamdulillah. Not a word came out of my mouth except responses to questions. And maybe some tears that came out of my eyes. But I was glad because I didnt cry much! This is a HUGE accomplishment 4 me alhamdulillah, masha Allah, yay!

I've realised that I dont get yelled at by parents a lot but when i do I have a big audience. Once in front of Upoma and Ema I got yelled at big time for wanting to drive to Minto (even tho I have my license). Another time I got yelled at in front of over 15 girls at a sleepover (even tho it was over the telephone it was really embarassing). I even had big serious debates with abbu in front of other uncles at dawats! See, this stuff is like once in a blue moon 4 us but people must thing we are the most jhograte family alive! lol, oh yeah, i remember once in NZ at this cultural function, i was 8 yrs old and me sis was 4. We got into such a HUGE fight, all the performances had 2 b stopped (i think) and aunties and uncles had to come and stop us (i remember that my parents were SOOOOOOOO embarassed)!

I just pray that Allah amake maaf kore dei for being such a bad daughter. Abbu ammuke ami ragateo pari, lol. Coz everytime i was yelled at it was my fault (as far as i remember). Now i just need 2 be patient and continue with my anger management and improve on it as much as i can insha Allah ;)